Conquering the World
by Arokka
Summary: smirks You wouldn't believe me if I told you. snickers and awaits the flames
1. Warning

WARNING!  
  
Please observe that this is a PARODY  
This was not written to offend anyone  
Or hurt their feelings.  
  
This fic may involve such things that  
Some people may find offensive (I am  
For example making fun of Nazism and  
Hitler). If this is not to your liking:  
  
DO NOT READ THE FIC!  
  
Disclaimer:  
I lay no claim to the series or characters  
Depicted in this work and I am not making  
Any money on this story.  
  
The plot, however twisted, does belong to  
Me and I would kindly ask that no-one  
Copies it.  
  
To those who want to archive it: You may  
Do so as long as I am informed of where  
It is archived.  
(rinaarumu@hotmail.com)  
  
Flames will be read and laughed at. 


	2. Conquering the World

Conquering the World  
  
The invasion of Greenland and it's subsequent annexation had gone without a hitch, he thought proudly. His army had managed to secure all relevant points and had quickly set up base. Now they were ready for global conquest.  
  
He stood, lumbering over to the large window overlooking the courtyard of the large manor he and his most trusted staff was residing in, mindful of his tail. In his early days he had managed to bump it repeatedly, an experience he didn't want to go through again. He tugged his crisp uniform- jacket straight, staring out at the proud flags snapping in the wind. The flags were a beautiful deep purple, the exact color of his own skin, adorned with his head in profile, painted in the lurid green color of his spots and stomach.  
  
With a content sigh he gazed down on his elite guards, their small wiry aqua-skinned bodies perfectly marching in step, parading along the edges of the yard, clad in their white dress-uniforms. He smiled slightly as the faint sounds of their marching-song made it's way through the bullet-proof glass.  
  
"Laa la la la la la, La la la laa.."  
  
He chuckled lightly, the sound carrying slightly in the quiet office. With a smile he walked back to his large desk and sank down in his comfy chair and pressed the button on the intercom. "Miss Bop, send in my staff now," he said calmly.  
  
"Yes, Fuhrer, right away," came the cheerful reply and seconds later his four generals entered the room.  
  
The four came to a perfect halt in front of the desk and saluted smartly. The eldest of them -and the one of them who took after himself in color- took a step forward and spoke politely: "You wanted to see us, mein Fuhrer?"  
  
"Indeed, have you laid out the plans for our next conquest..?" he asked, idly, smiling to himself.  
  
"Yes, sir," the youngest, and titian-colored, spoke with a quiet confidence that belied her years as she began laying out the plans for the taking of northern Europe. "In conclusion, we have also received overtures of a non- aggression pact with the Deacon Ines Santana Nara Eliza Yevenez as you expected. Also, the Eastern Coalition has sent messages that indicate that they want to join you, sir.  
  
He smirked to himself; all was going according to plan. Soon the humans would know the meaning of Friendship and Love. "Very good, General," he murmured, turning his attention to his golden general. "How are the conversions going?"  
  
The lemon-shaded being snapped to attention with a briskness that was stunning and smiled happily. "The conversions are going as well as can be expected. The rate among the younger population is a nice 95 percent, sir, while among the elder it's about 55 percent. Just about what was expected. There are of course some who refuse to convert but they have been marked as was discussed and will be shipped of to the camps as soon as they have been set up. Which should be in two to three days, provided the schedule is kept." She saluted him and relaxed slightly.  
  
"Excellent. Contact me when the camps have been set up and I will begin a tour of them."  
  
"Yes, sir," the verdant being, who had until now been quiet, murmured and jotted down something in the paper pad he carried with him.  
  
"Very well then. Dismissed." He smiled to himself as they filed out of the office. The amethyst and viridian male waited for a few minutes before activating the intercom again. "Miss Bop, could you please bring me a cup of coffee?"  
  
"At once, sir!" came the cheerful reply. "Would you like cream and sugar in your coffee?"  
  
"Black will be fine, Bop," he answered, smiling wryly; she knew that he always drank it black yet persisted in asking.  
  
"Yes, sir. Oh right, a Mr. BJ wishes to set up an appointment with you, he said that you knew what it was about?"  
  
"Ah yes, book it at one thirty p.m. tomorrow."  
  
"Yes, sir, I'll be in with your coffee in a few minutes, sir."  
  
He smiled and shut of the intercom and waited. Some minutes later an emerald-colored female, with a pretty magenta ribbon on her head stepped into his office, gently balancing a steaming mug on a small tray. With nimble steps she made her way over to his desk and quietly placed the mug in front of him. "Anything else, sir?" she murmured, smiling sweetly at him.  
  
"This is fine, Bop. Thank you."  
  
"No problem, sir!" The jade girl giggled and nearly skipped out of the office.  
  
He shook his head slightly again and sipped his coffee, going through the many documents that had been brought to his attention. Global conquest really was quite tiring work.  
  
Four days later the Fuhrer stepped out of the pale purple panzer-limo that had brought him and his generals to the first and largest of the conversion camps. With precise, measured steps he walked into the facility, flanked by his military leaders and surrounded by elite troops. We must look quite a sight, walking as we do, colored in all the colors of the rainbow, he thought idly, looking into the large fenced of areas where large groups of humans could be seen toiling with sewing machines under great tent tops that had been set up to keep the cloths the humans was working with dry. He smiled eyeing the growing piles of uniforms for his army and nodded in satisfaction.  
  
After a few minutes he moved on, approaching the large buildings that had been constructed on the premise. Guards speedily unlocked the doors, letting him enter through the over-sized doors.  
  
He smiled happily as he heard the music spilling out from the correction chambers and he couldn't help but hum along, after all, it was _his_ song.  
  
"I love you, you love me, we're the bestest friends could be."  
  
"Excuse me, mein Fuhrer," a quiet voice politely interrupted and he turned to look at General Laa-Laa, "if you would step this way we can show some humans going through the final stages of correction."  
  
He nodded, smiling and followed the amber-skinned general toward and open area sunken into the floor surrounded by a chain-link fence. His eyes widened in pleasure as he caught sight of humans happily playing and frolicking in the pen, all humming happily. "Most excellent, General," he murmured before throwing one last glance through a one-way mirror at the first-stage correctionee's catching sight of the sad smiley stamped on their foreheads in a resplendent lemon-yellow.  
  
He let out a sigh of happiness, his gaze sweeping around the complex, they were going to make it, he could feel it, they would take over the world and make it a better place. Thanks to his loyal generals they were already well on their way. With a happy smile he left the others standing at the edge of the sunken pen and descended into it via a hidden staircase and met the cries of adoration from the happy humans who had just discovered him.  
  
"Barney! Barney! BARNEY!"  
  
It was good to be the Fuhrer.  
  
(THE END)  
  
Author's end note: People will kill me for this, right? ^^  
  
And yes; It's meant to be funny. Another yes: It's Barney the Dinosaur, The Teletubbies and The Smurfs. ^^; 


End file.
